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Malcolm is miserable, Claire is way too happy; Sandy is a bit superficial and Skip is just a putz. Four ordinary people with nothing in common, save proximity, endure that most taxing of all torments: the everyday.
Originally Written in 2005
There once was a boy named Anders and Anders ran a website. But one day, Anders found himself too busy with work and life and defending the Earth from the Sun Giants to properly update that website. So, he did a terrible thing, he did what so many people do — and later regret — when they’re down and out: he turned to poetry. And it would not be an exaggeration to call the result a crime against humanity; but he figured there may be an audience for it amongst the foolhardy, the impetuous and the masochistic. Call it a social experiment.
Originally Written in 2007 Click Here for “Short Story”
Life once again interferes with the writing and so I return to this most terrible of habits, this dread and unspeakable of narrative approaches, one chock full of poetical cliches and words no one actually uses. Thank God I grew out of this. If anything, let this be a tragic lesson to us all: Do not, absolutely do not, get bored during philosophy classes and start writing poetry. Don’t do it. Just don’t, lest the act invoke some ancient and unspoken blasphemy that when read unleashes arcane horrors upon the earth to bathe the world in lost traditions of magic and blood. But I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen this time.
Originally Written in 2007 Click Here for Story
A man who is fed up with his life walks backward through time to eliminate the source of all his woes.
Originally Written in 2006
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Now with 30% less suck.
It’s not easy being the protagonist of a videogame. There’s all that running and jumping and dying. And as the years go on, the experience becomes wearying. And now Flippy, the forgotten king of the platforming generation, finds himself asking that most vexing of all existential questions: “Is saving the Princess really worth all this?”
Originally Written in 2010 Click Here for Story
Have you ever just wanted to kill your noisy neighbors? Well, this guy is going one step further: he’s building a doomsday device to destroy this noisy universe.
Originally Written in 2009
Historians tell of great kings who commanded nations, who constructed great wonders that have mesmerized millions over the centuries and whose edicts have helped shape civilization as we know it. Rex is not one of those kings and this is his story.
Originally Written in 2005
Science has been used to answer nature’s greatest riddles and spark some of history’s greatest controversies. Now, it will be used to waste time and money. What happens when werewolves go to the moon? Read and learn.
Originally Written in 2006
Rainbow is a vegan and her boyfriend has promised to make her dinner. But a terrible secret is about to be revealed that could shatter the very foundations of their relationship. Trust me, you have NO idea where this is going.
Originally Written in 2009
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There’s something wrong with Billy’s dad; some strange affliction has overcome him: something insidious and terrible, something secret and new, something brought on by that mysterious gorloch.
Originally Written in 2011
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The Divine Kingdom has been at peace for ten thousand years. But now an ancient enemy has returned to hunt for a young girl who holds the key to unlocking the all-powerful weapon that once brought terror the world. And there is only one thing that can protect her, only one man… and another man and an elf and a witch and a troll and a third man and a duck can stand against this nastiest of Dark Lords and save all of Phantasmorifica.
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The epic origin of Schmuck Man, the boy hero who uses the power of Stupidity against all those who would use that power for evil. Also a very, very, very, very, very loose parody of Batman Begins.
Originally Written in 2005
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In 1985, two plumbers disappeared while working on the pipes. They eventually found themselves the heroes of an enchanted land of vegetable people (teaching kids the valuable lesson to not eat their mushrooms because they might be alive). This is the untold story of the missing persons investigation that followed their disappearance. Follow Jack Diamond, missing plumber investigator, as he discovers the shocking truth to this famous mystery.
Originally Written in 2010 Click Here for Story
A twelve part epic noirish, superhero, comic, tragic, moralist fable with sprinkles. Updated monthly over the course of 2011.
Part 1: “What Goes Boing in the Night”
Part 2: “Tiger and Space”
Part 3: “Significant Sames”
Part 4: “The Gathering Unkindness”
Part 5: “The Place Where Monsters Come From”
Part 6: “A Most Efficient Means of Killing Cats”
Part 7: “Know No Evil”
Part 8: “The Littlest Death”
Originally Written in 2010-2011
In these paragraphs – wherein all the secrets of history are revealed – you will discover the truth to the past, the answers to the future, some self-righteous ranting about the present and hopefully a couple laughs.
Originally Written in 2006
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Jack Diamond, astronaut detective, has arrived at a lonely mansion to solve the greatest mystery in the universe: namely, what is this universe exactly and where did it come from?
Originally Written in 2010
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Third Place Winner of the 2010 NYC Midnight Short Story Contest. Malcolm is the Spirit of Good and Benjamin is the Spirit of Evil; and they are locked in combat for the final apocalyptic battle that will decide the fate of all reality. There’s just one problem: they used to date.
Life isn’t what it should be. If it isn’t dull, it’s unfair and if it isn’t unfair, it’s violent. And in this world of tedious, malicious inequity, only one man dares to fight the evils that roam our streets, only one man has the courage, only one man has the strength, only one man has nothing better to do: He is Zombie Man!
Originally Written in 2010
"The Greatest Fantasy Novel Ever! Screw Game of Thrones!"
Available at Amazon
