Batman Movies: Joel Schumacher (Batman Forever/Batman and Robin)
Batman Forever and Batman and Robin were each a mishmash of hokey aesthetics and bad jokes, covering a plot of lame B-movie sci-fi clichés.
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The Thing (2011) Review
The remake of the remake of The Thing is just a soulless, assembly line exercise in gaudy special effects, tension-free action and lots of excessively loud booming sounds.
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Posted 7 months ago at 7:22 PM. Add a comment
Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review
Transformers: Dark of the Moon is too disconnected to work as a conclusion, too grounded to be a memorable fantasy epic, too goofy to be drama, not goofy enough to be camp, too dull to hold interest and too loud to sleep through.
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Posted 10 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:27 PM. Add a comment
Homefront Review (Xbox 360/PS3)
You never really get drawn into the war-torn America of Homefront; it never even tries to pull you in, it’s too busy trying to be a generic, paint-by-numbers, ho-hum, average, bog-standard, run-of-the-mill, dime-a-dozen, been-there-done-that traditional first-person shooter.
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Posted 1 year, 1 month ago at 10:14 AM. Add a comment
Red Riding Hood Review
It’s pointless, it’s derivative, it’s cynical, it’s clumsy, it’s asinine, it’s patronizing, it’s anachronistic, it’s lazy, it’s just plain bad.
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Posted 1 year, 2 months ago at 1:47 AM. Add a comment
Epic Mickey Review (Wii)
Take a movie with brilliant ideas, deep and engrossing characters and clever dialogue and then hand it to a director who doesn’t know which side of the camera is the “shooty end” and you’ll likely get a product that’s so substandard you won’t care about the thought that went into it. And sadly, that’s Epic Mickey.
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Posted 1 year, 5 months ago at 3:15 AM. Add a comment
A Nightmare on Elm Street Review
The special effects look okay and Jackie Earle Haley performs well enough in an unenviable role, but the plot is vapid, the characters drab and the twists inexplicably straight. A Nightmare on Elm Street is just the latest victim of a movie industry so bereft of originality that it allows parasites to feast on the desiccated husk of its better days.
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Posted 2 years ago at 3:49 AM. 2 comments
Repo Men Review
Repo Men seems like it wanted to be an absurdist action/comedy with a heart; but the action is bland, the comedy too infrequent and that heart is as blatantly manufactured as the one in the protagonist’s chest.
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Posted 2 years, 1 month ago at 1:11 AM. Add a comment
District 9 Review
A disjointed and overly eclectic movie, District 9 offers just enough apartheid allegory to pretend it’s intelligent when it isn’t, a sci-fi plot governed by the genre’s worst cliches and enough action, gore and ray guns to fluff it all out to an appropriate cinematic length.
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Posted 2 years, 9 months ago at 5:56 PM. Add a comment
X-Men Origins: Wolverine Review
With poor writing, erratic pacing, the misuse and under-use of several characters and some questionable CGI, Wolverine’s very own movie is underwhelming to say the least and a cinematic lobotomy to say the most.
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Posted 2 years, 11 months ago at 2:52 AM. Add a comment
Sonic and the Black Knight Review (Wii)
Sonic and the Black Knight is just a jumbled mess of bad ideas, good ideas done badly and a total misapprehension about what a good Sonic game – or, for that matter, a good videogame – is supposed to be.
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Posted 2 years, 11 months ago at 2:39 AM. Add a comment
Watchmen: Theatrical Cut Review
In 2009, Zack Snyder – riding along the popularity he gained from adapting 300 – unleashed his own Watchmen unto the world: a cinematic adaptation of the graphic novel with all the eloquence and depth one would expect from the director of 300.
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